One night last week, my husband, Tom, and I got into an argument. The next morning, I was still fuming. So I gave him the silent treatment. For the uninitiated, the silent treatment is when a person intentionally refuses to communicate with you or in some cases, even acknowledge you. It’s a common maneuver that’s used in all sorts of relationships, said Kipling Williams, emeritus professor of psychological sciences at Purdue University who has studied the effects of the silent treatment for over 30 years……..Continue reading….
Source: NYTimes
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Critics:
Silent treatment is the refusal to communicate verbally or electronically with someone who is trying to communicate and elicit a response. It may range from just sulking to malevolent abusive controlling behaviour. It may be a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence.
Clinical psychologist Harriet Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative punishment. It may be used as a form of social rejection; according to the social psychologist Kipling Williams, it is the most common form of ostracism. In a relationship, the silent treatment can be a difficult pattern to break and resolve because if it is ingrained, relationships may gradually deteriorate.
The silent treatment is more likely to be used by individuals with low self-esteem and a low tolerance for conflict. In order to avoid conflict, an individual will refuse to acknowledge it and will sometimes use silent treatment as a control mechanism. Enactors of the silent treatment punish their victims by refusing to speak to them or even acknowledge their presence. Through silence, the enactors “loudly” communicate their displeasure, anger, upset and frustration.
These feelings can elicit a maladaptive response from victims with high rejection sensitivity levels, which can often lead to violence and more physical displays of aggression. Purposeful silence is a form of attention seeking behavior and can generate desired responses, such as attention, or a feeling of power from creating uncertainty for the victim. Unfortunately, the avoidance of conflict in the form of silent treatment is psychologically exhausting for all involved parties and leads to the irreparable deterioration of meaningful romantic and familial relationships.
Silence and non-responsiveness are not only passive-aggressive forms of manipulation and attention seeking; they can also be used as tools to promote changes in behavior. Tactical ignoring is a strategy where a person gives no outward sign of recognizing a behavior, such as no eye contact, no verbal or physical response, or acknowledgment that a message has been read.
However, it is a very active process as the person remains acutely aware of the behavior and monitors the individual to observe what the individual has planned and ensure their safety or the safety of others. It is a technique that is often employed in parent-child relationships and is similar to the silent treatment because tactical ignoring is a behavioral management technique that, when correctly applied, can convey the message that a person’s behavior will not lead to their desired outcome. It may also result in the reduction of undesirable behaviors.
Tactical ignoring can be one element of a behavior management plan when there are a variety of challenging behaviors being addressed. Because it is a method that involves not responding to an undesirable behavior, it should be complemented by differential reinforcement for an alternative behavior, as seen in functional communication training, a procedure to teach a more appropriate attention-seeking behavior.
Planned ignoring can be used for mild and low impact in terms of helping behavioral issues stemming from attention seeking and power struggles. Power struggles are when a child refuses to do something and it is an ongoing battle of insisting the child to comply. Experimental manipulations of social isolation in rats and mice (e.g., isolated rearing) are a common means of elucidating the effects of isolation on social animals in general. Researchers have proposed isolated rearing of rats as an etiologically valid model of human mental illness.
Indeed, chronic social isolation in rats has been found to lead to depression-, anxiety-, and psychosis-like behaviors as well signs of autonomic, neuroendocrine, and metabolic dysregulation. For example, a systematic review found that social isolation in rats is associated with increased expression of BDNF in the hippocampus, which is associated with increased anxiety-like symptoms. In another example, a study found that social isolation in rats is associated with increased brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) expression in the prefrontal cortex.
This results in the dysregulation of neural activity which is associated with anxiety, depression, and social dysfunction. The effects of experimental manipulations of isolation in nonhuman social species has been shown to resemble the effects of perceived isolation in humans, and include: increased tonic sympathetic tone and hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) activation and decreased inflammatory control, immunity, sleep salubrity, and expression of genes regulating glucocorticoid responses.
However, the biological, neurological, and genetic mechanisms underlying these symptoms are poorly understood. Social isolation is both a potential cause and a symptom of emotional or psychological challenges. As a cause, the perceived inability to interact with the world and others can create an escalating pattern of these challenges. As a symptom, periods of isolation can be chronic or episodic, depending upon any cyclical changes in mood, especially in the case of clinical depression.
Everyday aspects of this type of deep-rooted social isolation can mean:
- staying home for an indefinite period of time due to lack of access to social situations rather than a desire to be alone;
- both not contacting, and not being contacted by, any acquaintances, even peripherally; for example, never being called by anybody on the telephone and never having anyone visit one’s residence;
- a lack of meaningful, extended relationships, and especially close intimacy (both emotional and physical).
Social isolation can begin early in life. During this time of development, a person may become more preoccupied with feelings and thoughts of their individuality that are not easy to share with other individuals. This can result from feelings of shame, guilt, or alienation during childhood experiences. Social isolation can also coincide with developmental disabilities. Individuals with learning impairments may have trouble with social interaction.
The difficulties experienced academically can greatly impact the individual’s esteem and sense of self-worth. An example would be the need to repeat a year of school. During the early childhood developmental years, the need to fit in and be accepted is paramount. Having a learning deficit can in turn lead to feelings of isolation, that they are somehow ‘different’ from others.
Whether new technologies such as the Internet and mobile phones exacerbate social isolation (of any origin) is a debated topic among sociologists, with studies showing both positive correlation of social connections with use of social media as well as mood disorders coinciding with problematic use.
London’s Most Notorious Prisons – Page – Life In London Magazine – All In London”.
Silent treatment speaks volumes about a relationship
A Multisurface Interpersonal Circumplex Assessment of Rejection Sensitivity”.
Ignoring | Consequences | Essentials | Parenting Information | CDC”.
Reducing behavior problems through functional communication training”.
London’s Most Notorious Prisons – Page – Life In London Magazine – All In London”.
Silent treatment speaks volumes about a relationship
A Multisurface Interpersonal Circumplex Assessment of Rejection Sensitivity”.
Ignoring | Consequences | Essentials | Parenting Information | CDC”.
Reducing behavior problems through functional communication training”.
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