Self-love is hard to define and measure and for some scholars, that’s a good reason to keep studying the concept. Scientists have a problem studying self-love. Research abounds on self-compassion, self-esteem, self-care, and even unconditional positive self-regard. Scholars have published definitions of these concepts, established scales for measuring them, and explored their practice and impact on people’s well-being……..Continue reading….
Source: Greater Good
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Critics:
Self-love, defined as “love of self” or “regard for one’s own happiness or advantage”, has been conceptualized both as a basic human necessity and as a moral flaw, akin to vanity and selfishness, synonymous with amour-propre, conceitedness, egotism, narcissism, et al. However, throughout the 20th and 21st centuries self-love has adopted a more positive connotation through pride parades.
Self-Respect Movement, self-love protests, the hippie era, the modern feminist movement (3rd & 4th wave), as well as the increase in mental health awareness that promotes self-love as intrinsic to self-help and support groups working to prevent substance abuse and suicide.Lack of self-love increases risk of suicide according to the American Association of Suicidology.
The association conducted a study in 2008 which researched the impact of low self-esteem and lack of self-love and its relation to suicidal tendencies and attempts. They defined self-love as being “beliefs about oneself (self-based self-esteem) and beliefs about how other people regard oneself (other-based self-esteem)”.
It concluded that “depression, hopelessness, and low self-esteem are implications of vulnerability factors for suicide ideation” and that “these findings suggest that even in the context of depression and hopelessness, low self-esteem may add to the risk for suicide ideation”.In psychology, self-compassion is extending compassion to one’s self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering.
American psychologist Kristin Neff has defined self-compassion as being composed of three main elements – self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Self-compassion entails being warm towards oneself when encountering pain and personal shortcomings, rather than ignoring them or hurting oneself with self-criticism. Common humanity:
Self-compassion also involves recognizing that suffering and personal failure is part of the shared human experience rather than isolating. Mindfulness: Self-compassion requires taking a balanced approach to one’s negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. Negative thoughts and emotions are observed with openness, so that they are held in mindful awareness.
Mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which individuals observe their thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them. Conversely, mindfulness requires that one not be “over-identified” with mental or emotional phenomena, so that one suffers aversive reactions.This latter type of response involves narrowly focusing and ruminating on one’s negative emotions.
Self-compassion in some ways resembles Carl Rogers’ notion of “unconditional positive regard” applied both towards clients and oneself; Albert Ellis’ “unconditional self-acceptance”; Maryhelen Snyder’s notion of an “internal empathizer”. Exploring one’s own experience with “curiosity and compassion”; Ann Weiser Cornell’s notion of a gentle, allowing relationship with all parts of one’s being; and Judith Jordan’s concept of self-empathy, which implies acceptance, care and empathy towards the self.
Self-compassion is different from self-pity, a state of mind or emotional response of a person believing to be a victim and lacking the confidence and competence to cope with an adverse situation. Research indicates that self-compassionate individuals experience greater psychological health than those who lack self-compassion.
For example, self-compassion is positively associated with life satisfaction, wisdom, happiness, optimism, curiosity, learning goals, social connectedness, personal responsibility, and emotional resilience. At the same time, it is associated with a lower tendency for self-criticism, depression, anxiety, rumination, thought suppression, perfectionism, and disordered eating attitudes.
Self-compassion has different effects than self-esteem, a subjective emotional evaluation of the self. Although psychologists extolled the benefits of self-esteem for many years, recent research has exposed costs associated with the pursuit of high self-esteem, including narcissism, distorted self-perceptions, contingent and/or unstable self-worth, as well as anger and violence toward those who threaten the ego.
As self-esteem is often associated with perceived self-worth in externalised domains such as appearance, academics and social approval, it is often unstable and susceptible to negative outcomes. In comparison, it appears that self-compassion offers the same mental health benefits as self-esteem, but with fewer of its drawbacks such as narcissism, ego-defensive anger, inaccurate self-perceptions, self-worth contingency, or social comparison.
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